


If we tried

by amoridicent



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Kdrama!au, Lucas is new to acting and a bit selfconscious, M/M, idk really, jungwoo just wna befriend the guy, more like actors in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14619831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoridicent/pseuds/amoridicent
Summary: jungwoo and lucas are the main leads for a new network kdrama that tackles issues that are generally shunned upon.their season is going to break new grounds, that is, if lucas would quit being so difficult.





	If we tried

**Author's Note:**

> Listen it’s 3am rn and this is not grammar checked I’m just so excited about this so I’m going to post it now and edit later. sorry for any mistakes, and enjoy!
> 
> Edit: I've corrected any grammar mistakes I could detect by simply going over the story a few times, and i added a few elements to the story while i was at it.

SCENE

The setting is by a park bench, right by a looming tree whose branches shook silently in the afternoon breeze, jungwoo is sat there quietly with his face rested on his knee, which he had pulled up to make it more comfortable for himself. He was sitting hunched forwards, supporting his weight against his thighs, his foot threatening to slip over the edge of the bench.

It was a beautiful day, the sky was blue aside from some stray clouds ghosting by the horizon, the park where he sat was quiet, the only disturbance being the cars speeding by on the small road behind him, but he didn’t mind it, it kept him grounded in reality instead of drifting off with his thoughts.

He planned to sit there for a while, he needed to gather his thoughts. Needed to wake up from the fever dream that was his life.

He couldn’t believe what was happening, he had just sprinted out of his girlfriend’s apartment, down the street and into a nearby park. He had ran until his lungs burned and his legs could no longer support his weight, he eventually came to a halt after running for what felt like hours and collapsed against the hard material of the bench to catch his breath.

And so he sat, under the very tree he had first kissed her, where their story had begun, and where it now was coming to an end.

He kept repeating to himself - this was the right thing to do, this was the right thing to do.

He did this for  _him_.

A single tear rolled down his cheek and he stubbornly wiped it away with his hands curled into fists around the paws of his sweater, but it kept stubbornly coming back and when his cheek began to burn from the rub he just let it happen, he couldn’t be strong any longer like he had been for so long. And so he let the tears trail down his cheek and drop from the edge of his chin onto his knee.

He no longer knew if he cried from sorrow or from fear of the unknown-the future. Or perhaps it was some sadistic mixture of emotions saved for him only. _He was numb._

When a hand reached out to cup his cheek cautiously he startled, squirming slightly in his seat before relaxing into the touch. He realized then that he had closed his eyes without noticing, and when he looked up his eyes were met with those deep brown eyes that he had grown ever so accustomed to through the years, the owner of which was looking at him with concern.

“I told you she was no good for you.”

His breath hitched from the intensity of the scene and- then the bell rang, the hand against his skin immediately retrieving back as if it had got burnt. Jungwoo made a grimace at that, it’s not like touching him could kill yukhei that much, could it?

“Good work boys! Jungwoo, you aced this scene! yukhei, follow his example and make sure you have this energy for tomorrow’s scene!” Jungwoo beamed at that, thanking the director and bowing politely next to yukhei.

The staff began to wrap up around them, engaging in small talk among themselves - most of them seemed rather impressed with the scene, some of them even coming up to him and praising his acting.

He was so grateful, this was his first big network drama, and one that would surely go down in history at that, as the main couple was to be two males.

Season one was a raw and very real story about an elderly couple falling apart, to never fall back together, depicting a very real story of how fragile love can be.

The season he was working on was about two childhood friends who after so many years realized their love for each other, oh - and they happened to both be males.

He had heard rumors about next season, and how it was going to tackle a story of two kpop idols falling in love, a forbidden romance sorta deal.

Him and yukhei, a younger actor who had recently risen into the spotlight, are to be the main couple of this season.

That is if yukhei could at least try to cooperate.

Jungwoo studied the man next to him, he understood why he had became so popular so fast, he was attractive and had a charm about him that made it next to impossible to not be stunned. And, on top of it all, he could act, adding his own unique spin to every scene. In short, he was a package deal.

And he hated jungwoo.

The newbie was rather tense next to him as he turned to face him, and jungwoo felt bad for him. He was obviously nervous, he was young, pretty new to the world in front of a camera, and tomorrow was a rather big scene for his character, an episode that mainly focused on him as to fully establish their character’s personalities.

They had received praise internationally but still remained unfazed by the korean media, well, except by those who claimed that homosexuality was a sin or whatever. Those people claimed, on the other hand, to be very much affected. But that was just a bit of background noise for them - and in all honesty, jungwoo couldn’t care less about that, he was already officially out and had gotten used to a bit of backlash following him wherever he'd go, and he especially didn't pay it a single piece of mind when he, in his humble opinion, had been cast to play the role of a lifetime.

He doubts yukhei is as easily unbothered by them as him though. He studies the other’s face, said man currently talking to his manager about how to best go about his upcoming scene, where he was to invite jungwoo’s character over to his place, and where they were to make up.

“Hey, you’re doing great, you’re going to blow their minds with the next episode, i bet!” He tried after silently watching yukhei's manager leave to set some things in order, giving him a perfect moment to try to befriend the younger. He was not surprised when the other male just gave him an unreadable look and took off in the other direction.

Great, just great.

Jungwoo did by no means undermine the other’s talents, he had seen them. The first day on set he had walked in to see the younger practicing his lines against one of their cameramen, yuta, and the kid had nailed every line with just the right amount of emotion and volume of speech.

But, as proven by how the kid seemed to take a step backward every time the older took a step forwards, he had seen him staring and from there it had gone downhill.

Yukhei had likely mistakenly read his interest as mocking of his abilities, and wouldn’t give the older the light of day ever since. Jungwoo was already established as an up and coming actor and had previously starred in a few successful web dramas, thus not being so nervous about his latest gig as yukhei was. And so the younger felt crushed under heaps of expectations as he played against the older, jungwoo knew as much due to overhearing yukhei expressing this to a staff member in the aftermath of a really bad day of recording in which yukhei refused to meet his eyes. 

Jungwoo didn’t like that one bit, but every time he tried to explain himself he somehow dug himself even deeper. And now the younger couldn’t even look him in the eye, probably thinking that jungwoo thought of him as inferior in some sort of way, he did however frequently catch yukhei staring at his profile when he thought he wouldn’t notice.

Yukhei was a mystery.

The director shot him a look from where he was crouched next to the filming equipment and jungwoo remembered what they had talked about before filming started this morning, about how important it was that the two of them to get along.

Him and yukhei had to work things out, they needed to get on good terms or it could potentially damage the whole production. And so he immediately got up and followed yukhei in his tracks.

“Lucas, wait!” The younger froze in front of the door of his trailer, keycard held firmly in hand and turned around to stare blankly back at the older, giving him an unreadable expression after jungwoo accidentally called out to him by his stage name. “What, are you here to complain because then, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re not the first one.” Jungwoo’s heart ached at the other’s words, he had seen some of the staff correcting and guiding him, but that was only positive criticism, right? The staff could be harsh but they always meant well.

“Listen i-“

The younger visibly rolled his eyes and turned around once again in order to face the door, he proceeded to unlock the door with a swift motion. 

Jungwoo was ready to be met with a slammed door to his face, with anger and disappointment boiling in his stomach from yet another failed attempt to fix whatever he had done wrong. but to his surprise - the door was left open.

Well, this was new.

He stood there for a good minute while he contemplated his next move, was yukhei ready to finally talk instead of shutting him out? Inside the room he heard the water boiler being turned on and a pair of feet shuffling around.

Yukhei looked back from where he was standing and looked pointedly towards jungwoo, studying with an amused smirk how the older stood small by the door frame, apparently enjoying being the one in charge for once. “You coming in or what?”

“Yes of course.” He quickly piped out and walked in, shutting the door quietly behind himself as he properly stepped inside the room for the first time since the recording had started a few weeks prior. The lounge inside his trailer was small, as were jungwoo’s, it barely fit two people and jungwoo had to watch his every step in order to not accidentally make something fall over as he sat down in a chair by a coffee table conveniently placed in the middle of the room.

The younger sat down in front of him and for the first time jungwoo saw the man in front of him in a different, new light. He looked so calm huddled over himself, a cup of hot chocolaté held firmly in his hands. He was staring down into the milky swirl of the whipped cream and his brows furrowed, what could he be thinking about that has him so distressed?

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwoo surprised himself by asking, apparently surprising the other in the same process as he shook back into focus and nodded.

“Do you hate me? And if so, why? I need to know in order to be able to work on it, you and me, we need to work, this drama needs to work.” He sighed and stared down into his hands while he waited for the younger to either confirm or deny his claims.

It grew quiet for a minute and jungwoo was about ready to just sit up and walk away, much like his character had done.

But then he spoke.

”I don’t hate you, I could never hate you.” Came a small voice and when their eyes met for a brief second he could detect an uncharacteristic sense of fear and regret in the eyes of the other.

”So, why?”

This time the reply came much faster. ”I- I feel like I’m going to let you all down, the staff, the director, the management, the producers and... most of all, you.”

Jungwoo was across the room in a rush, he bolted up so fast that the chair he had been sitting on almost fell over and he embraced the younger before he could even fully register it himself. “We all have to start somewhere, I was once where you are, you need to trust in yourself, we all want you here, you’re a valuable part of this production and you wouldn’t be here if we all didn’t believe wholeheartedly that you could handle your role." He took a moment to think about their situation before adding "I’ll be there to help you, all the way.”

He had spoken so fast that some of his words came out slurred but he still got his point across, and by how yukhei untensed under him he could tell that his words had made an impact.

When he pulled back he was met with a pair of glossy eyes and a weak smile, when yukhei caught a look of himself in the mirror placed by the far end of his room they couldn’t help but break out in laughter by the state he was in. Jungwoo reached forward and wiped the wetness on his cheeks away with his thumbs, thinking he could get used to their close proximity.

“Hey now, crying is my role.”

—  
SCENE

He stood by the kitchen entrance, studying the muscular back of his childhood friend, feeling somewhat guilty for several reasons. His friend, who had offered him a glass of water after finding him crying his eyes out in the park, coincidentally next to where he lived. Of course, jungwoo had unconsciously found himself searching for yukhei when he didn’t know where else to go. Typical. But now that he was here, he didn’t know what to do, so he stood there watching yukhei tiptoe in order to reach the tall glasses by the top shelf of the cabinet above his sink.

“She broke up with me.” He dared to break the silence, his cheeks a peachy shade of pink as the other turned around to look at him, pretending to not be fazed by his words. “So much I understood, mind telling me why?” He said the end of his sentence under his breath as if he was scared of the answer.

“Because I told her that I had fallen in love with my best friend.”

The bell rang once again, signaling their break, but jungwoo and yukhei just kept staring at each other in awe, bubbly smiles threatening to take over their faces as they excitedly met each other in a hug.

They had practiced together quite frequently since they made up, building up a friendship that jungwoo by now could safely admit he cherished a lot. They had worked through their differences, worked on their on-set dynamics, and hung out a lot in between.

He had found out that yukhei wasn't out yet, to anyone. And he hoped that him starring in this drama would speak for him instead of him having to face the world and admit to something that he wasn't fully ready to even admit to himself.

And that gave jungwoo so much insight into his co-actor, he finally had answers for unspoken questions, haven succeeded in breaking down walls that he would had never in a million years thought he could.

“You did so great!” Jungwoo was in awe, the younger had improved in such a short amount of time, it took only a few days for the younger to change his attitude towards himself for the better. And then they spent a few weeks working over later scenes that would appear as a flashback towards the end when jungwoo's character would confess his love a second time, after a series of mishaps - typical kdrama stuff.

And before they knew it, their big scene was next, the scene that he had maybe, probably, been most excited about when he looked through their freshly printed storyboard last week. His stomach turned in excitement and curiosity at the mere thought of it.

—

He heard the sound of a shutter going off and he knew he was next.

His character was supposed to look determined after his confession, sure about his proclamation and ready to face the consequences, which was no match for jungwoo.

He looked with a steady gaze as yukhei lowered himself down from his toes to rest his weight on his heels, his character first breaking out in a deep frown in order to confuse the viewers, exactly as they had practiced, before being unable to hold it together anymore, and he broke out in a genuine, heartfelt smile that lit up the whole world.

Atleast for jungwoo it did.

And then yukhei approached him, their characters finally being able to touch, to caress without worry, all their emotions boiling at the surface.

“I fell in love with you, too.”

It was directed at his character but jungwoo felt it echoing through his whole body, by now he was craving the man infront of him just as much as his character craved him.

Yukhei met his eyes, his hand cupping his cheek softly, much like he had done in the park, and their lips crashed together in a heated kiss that spoke a thousand of unsaid words that had lingered between them.

It was as much jungwoo's and yukhei's first kiss as it was their character's.

Their lips danced together and jungwoo felt so small, so needed, so needy in the arms of the other that he melted into it, fitting snuggly against the younger’s chest.

Enjoying what he could of what he was given.

Not soon after the kiss had started, it had to end, he knew as much - and yukhei knew, too. So they pulled back, but it didn’t stop him from chasing after the touch of their lips and letting out an unintentional, but all the more embarrassing groan at the loss of contact as the recording ended. His cheeks were burning, he heard a few of the staff members clapping their hands and hooting, their moment in front of the camera had left an impression, and jungwoo was proud.

He felt a few hands on his shoulders accompanied by congratulating words of encouragement, but all he saw was yukhei, who looked back at him with red, bruised lips and a dazed but satisfied expression. He studied the other’s lips and brought his thumb to his face, pressing softly against his lower lip. Did he do that? Pride blossomed in his chest at the thought of having this much of an effect on the younger.

“Can I ask you a something?” He chose to say after a beat of silence, mocking himself by mimicking the way he had asked him if he hated him a few weeks prior, and just as the time before, the younger nodded, adding in a soft 'you can!'. 

“Do you like me? And if so, can I do something about it? Because I’m understanding so many things about you, about- about myself right now and I just- I need to figure it out. I think we could figure it out. Together.”

Yukhei chuckled, not in a mocking way but like he didn’t know how to react, taken aback but not rejecting the idea. Jungwoo smiled as he played with the hem of his shirt, letting the younger take all the time he needed to answer.

Yukhei then took his hand and held it up against his chest. “You’re rambling, hyung.” He offered and then leaned in right next to jungwoo’s ear and pressed his lips gently against his skin, spreading goosebumps like fire against his neck.

Silence.

“I’ve liked you all along.”


End file.
